Blunt Guy

2010-11-28T20:20:00.000-05:00

The Breast Implant Release Agreement by Blunt Guy, Esq.

2010-03-26T14:50:00.016-04:00

Do you guys wish your woman had a rack like this?

Yes, We Know...

BLUNT GUY has the solution for you!

Buy your HOOTERS outfit right here: http://www.best-price.com/search/landing/query/hooters+uniform/s/google/cv/458694/adid/525471/koid/2123505272/

Next step: Buy implants! http://www.natrelle.com/pre_consultation_kit.aspx

Afraid to invest the cost incase of divorce? No Problem! Blunt Guy can draw up your very own BREAST IMPLANT RELEASE AGREEMENT!

BREAST IMPLANT RELEASE AGREEMENT

"BE IT KNOWN, that __________, (hereinafter referred to as "Releasor"),
for and in consideration of the sum of BREAST IMPLANTS ($ __________) Dollars,
and other valuable consideration received from or on behalf of
__________, (hereinafter referred to as "Releasee"), the receipt of which
is hereby acknowledged, will hereby remise, release the breast implants back to the original
purchaser, the Releasee, of and from all manner of actions,
causes of action, suits, debts, covenants, contracts, controversies,
agreements, promises, claims and demands whatsoever, which said Releasor
ever had, now has, or which any personal representative, successor, heir or
assign of said Releasor, hereafter can, shall or may have, against said
Releasee, by reason of any matter, cause or thing whatsoever, from the
beginning of time to the date of this instrument."

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, the said Releasor has agreed set hand and release the breast implant upon divorce this _____day of __________, 20___

Signed, sealed and delivered in the presence of: "RELEASOR" __________

STATE OF __________ COUNTY OF __________

Blunt Guy, Esq.
100 Rembrandt Square
Amsterdam, Netherlands
+31(0)20-2018800

Why Wait? Inflate Today!

Ben Stiller is THAT GUY from Curb Your Enthusiasm

2010-03-24T16:26:00.008-04:00

http://tv.popcrunch.com/ben-stiller-today-show-march-24-greenberg-video/

00:43 - Pissed off - "Not funny Meredith"

04:58 - Stares down Producer - "How dare you cut off Ben Stiller!"

Love you Ben!

All Black People were asked to leave South Jersey Wal-Mart

2010-03-22T10:09:00.016-04:00

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35908846

Wal-Mart CEO is upset because they definitely will not be collecting any stimulus $ from the White House

Man blames weed for leaving baby in the oven:

2010-03-22T10:02:00.007-04:00

http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/03/16/kentucky.oven.baby/index.html

Don't blame the weed man. $hit

If They Mated

2010-03-19T12:23:00.009-04:00

This woman's goal is to be the world's FATTEST WOMAN.

If she mated with herself..this is what you would get:

If she mated with Bernie Madoff...

Somebody send this to Conan!!!

Blunt Guy's upcoming cartoon series shot

2010-03-19T00:43:00.007-04:00

Introducing Blunt Guy!

2010-03-18T16:59:00.003-04:00

Celebrity Whale Apologizes like Tiger Woods

2010-03-18T15:50:00.006-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAruls3vD4Q

GENIUS!

On a Serious Note - How Congress Waited to Enact the SAFE ACT until 2008

2010-03-18T10:49:00.011-04:00

"With the security industry regulated to the point where a FINRA registered rep can be barred for simply using the wrong language, I think it's astounding that Congress waited until 2008, after the sub-prime meltdown, to enact the SAFE Act; Secure and Fair Enforcement for Mortgage Licensing. As an experienced professional in both the securities and mortgage industry, I can comment first-handedly that the lack of knowledge and professionalism from Mortgage Professionals largely contributed to the sub-prime meltdown. Sure, homeowners were naive while they over consumed, living far beyond their means, but many homeowners also suffered because they were not consulted in a professional and informative manner. Homeowners were often advised that sub-prime "2/28 ARMS" were the best loans for homeowner's who had damaged credit. Many homeowners consolidated their credit card debts, leaving very little equity, yet these loans were pushed by the banks and the loan originators. Beyond that, as a loan officer during the sub-prime days, I experienced competition from Brokers who gave bad advice to homeowners by low-balling the interest rates and then exploiting the good old bait and switch. Because of the wide-range quality of Loan Originators within the industry, there was never any consistency in the industry; from both the Customer's perspective and the Loan Originator's perspective.

It’s unbelievable how Banks such as Wells Fargo did “no ratio” stated income loans with credit scores starting at 620! Wouldn’t you think that would raise red flags to the banking wizards who worked at these institutions? Of course it did! The banks’ Credit Analysts over-looked it while Congress never looked at all. It is just astonishing that this country can regulate the securities industry to a tee while the mortgage industry, where a mortgage is an American's biggest investment of their lifetime, was embarrassingly neglected. I am amazed by the congressional oversight, rather the lack of, for the mortgage industry as well as homeland security at the time of September 11th, 2001.

It seems to me that this country acts only after a catastrophe has occurred. Therefore, I think it is imperative that industry professionals voice their concerns for what they think is being ignored before it's too late since it's apparent that Congress won't figure it out on their own." - NY Associated Press

For christ sakes let the guy in front of you PISS WITH PEACE!

2010-03-14T18:37:00.002-04:00

I walk into the bathroom drunk...I'm like "WHAT THE F*@&"

Then before you know it, people are fussin. Like seriously..."F*@& YOU!"

BLUNT GUY!

This chick ruined casual friday. WTF

2010-03-12T16:55:00.003-05:00

Blunt Guy dares you to speak your mind..RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW:

2010-03-12T16:43:00.000-05:00

Have a Blunt Guy Skit? Post it here:

2010-03-12T16:40:00.000-05:00

Blunt Guy Webisodes

2010-03-12T13:09:00.001-05:00

"I am blunt and I like to smoke blunts. Most people bullshit their emotions because they are vaginas. I don't. I will speak my mind whether you like it or not. That's I how roll...with an abundance of bluntness bitch." - Blunt Guy

Episodes/skits are broken down into 1-minute clips or less.

BLUNT GUY
“The Nanny”
Episode 1

FADE IN:
INT. BLUNT GUY'S CAR - DAY

RANDY who drives his brother’s NANNY around town. She is obviously into him but RANDY is just hanging out to show her around.

NANNY
Thank you for driving me all over town Randy. Your town looks like a lot of fun.
RANDY
It’s not bad. Can get old.
NANNY
Well maybe you can show me around town one night?
RANDY
Maybe.

The Nanny’s cell phone RINGS.

NANNY
Hello? Oh hi Mandy! Yeah I’m with Randy right now. Ok...yeah I’ll definitely ask him.

Randy pulls up in front of his brother’s house.

NANNY
Randy, do you wanna go out tonight with me and my friend Mandy?
RANDY
That rhymes.
NANNY
Yeah it does, doesn’t it!
RANDY
Is Mandy hot?

-with slight hesitation.

NANNY
Yeah...she’s pretty cute.
RANDY
Hot or cute?
NANNY
...hot.
RANDY
You had a hesitation. No thanks.

Nanny looks at him, confused.

NANNY
What? Why not?
RANDY
Because she’s not hot.
NANNY
But, what about me?
RANDY
What about you?

As he pulls his blunt out from his ear.

NANNY
You don’t think I’m hot or cute?
RANDY
Nope.

Nanny stares at him -- pissed off.

RANDY
Wow, you’re a blunt jerk!

As Randy lights his BLUNT.

RANDY
Nooo...I’m a Blunt GUY!

Randy faces the camera with a funny smirk as he blows out his smoke.
The screen flashes with: BLUNT GUY!

END CREDITS (V.O.)
BLUNT GUY!!!
FADE OUT.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BLUNT GUY
“CHURCH MORNINGS”
Episode 2

FADE IN:
INT. BLUNT GUY'S BEDROOM - MORNING

Just waking up, Blunt Guy pulls out a blunt from his dresser and a Maxim magazine. He goes through the pages as his right hand goes under the sheets.

BLUNT GUY
Oh yeaa. These chicks are hottt.

Suddenly, his PARENTS knocks on the door and enters. Blunt Man hides his magazine.

BLUNT GUY
Don’t you guys ever knock?
FATHER
Randy, this is our house.
BLUNT GUY
And this is my room.
MOTHER
Randy? Are you coming to church with us?
BLUNT GUY
No.
MOTHER
Why not dear?
BLUNT GUY
Because I don’t really believe in God. Can you close my door now? I’m losing my hard-on.

His Parents both look at each other in disbelief. They leave. Blunt Guy lights up his blunt.
He faces the camera with a funny smirk as he blows out his smoke.
The screen flashes with: BLUNT GUY!

END CREDITS (V.O.)
BLUNT GUY!!!
FADE OUT.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BLUNT GUY
“RESTAURANT DINNER”
Episode 3

FADE IN:
INT. RESTAURANT - EVENING

Blunt Guy is eating dinner with a GIRL he is just friends with. The WAITRESS walks over.

WAITRESS
Hi, how is everything?
GIRL
Oh it’s great, thanks.
BLUNT GUY
It’s horrible.
WAITRESS
What?
BLUNT GUY
Very bad.

The Girl looks at Blunt Man, embarrassed.

WAITRESS
I’m sorry. Why, what was wrong?
BLUNT GUY
Ehh the food just really sucks, ya know. Really fucking sucks.

Waitress is in complete disbelief.

WAITRESS
Well, is there anything I can do for you?
BLUNT GUY
Yeah, you could get under the table and give me a hummer right about now.

The Waitress makes a loud squealing noise and walks away. The Girl stares at Blunt Guy in disbelief as Blunt Guy lights up his blunt.
He faces the camera with a funny smirk as he blows out his smoke.
The screen flashes with: BLUNT GUY!

END CREDITS (V.O.)
BLUNT GUY!!!
FADE OUT.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BLUNT GUY
“MOVIE THEATER”
Episode 4

FADE IN:
INT. MOVIE THEATER LOBBY - DAY

Blunt Guy walks into a movie theater to apply for a job. He approaches the front desk where the MANAGER is talking to his employees.

BLUNT GUY
Excuse me.
CASHIER
Hi, how can I help you?
BLUNT GUY
Are you the Manager?
CASHIER
No.

The Manager overhears.

MANAGER
Hi, I’m the Manager. How can I help you?
BLUNT GUY
Yeah, I noticed you guys are hiring. What do I need to do get a job working here?
MANAGER
Well, you first have to fill out this application and we will review it. If you meet our qualifications, we’ll call you up and have you come in to take a drug test and then you can start.

As Blunt Guy pulls out his blunt from his ear.

BLUNT GUY
Drug test??

The Manager looks at him, shocked.

BLUNT GUY
Heyy man, if I can’t smoke the grass then I’ll pass. Peace!
Blunt Guy turns around and as he walks away as he lights up his blunt.
He faces the camera with a funny smirk as he blows out his smoke.
The screen flashes with: BLUNT GUY!

END CREDITS (V.O.)
BLUNT GUY!!!
FADE OUT.